Was on subs for 2 years and pills and H for years before that. I got off subs using kratom almost painlessly almost a year ago. 2 weeks ago I was handed a sample baggy of H. I did not throw it away. I've been using 5-6 days per week. .5-1.0. I tried putting a stop to it. I went all day this last Monday without anything but kratom. I was pretty depressed and unmotivated all day. I didn't think the kratom helped very much. That night I broke out in cold sweats and then intense shivering. Yesterday i made it until 5pm when i called this guy. I snorted a bunch. Got 10min of less depression and then it felt like I was craving again or just incredibly sad. I think its not very good but the days after I find myself kicking awake and having panic attacks. Anyway I work Weds-Sun. The kratom doesnt seem to be helping and am considering asking for 5 days off to hide under the covers until I can get my head on straight. I am sorry for the crazy writing. I am very upset with myself at the moment. Everything is going so right in my life and one tiny event is making me feel like I'm losing control. Any advice? Why does it feel like kratom is only barely helping if at all? Should I take time off? Or use until Monday when I can give my job better notice? I cannot let this cycle come back.

submitted by /u/ItalianICE
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https://www.reddit.com/r/kratom/comments/bjjguq/relapse_after_years_of_sobriety/