Hi everyone. Don’t know where to start. I began using opiates in small amounts when I met my second husband 10 years ago. He was also terrible alcoholic and although the relationship ended after 6 years my opiate addiction only got worse. At my very worst I was taking 16 mg or more of dilaudid IV, fake fentanyl, and even cooking up and shooting patches of fentanyl. But that’s now in the past. I have a 10 month old son and 2 daughters (11/17) and they have suffered financially and emotionally because of me. So today is day 3 of opiate withdrawal. I just got out of the hospital last Monday from an unrelated illness but of course they sent me home with opiates. Those have been done since Sunday. I am taking 8-10 capsules of red Bali kratom. It’s made life tolerable. Today I got dressed and I am going to try to do some things. Take the baby for a walk. Sort old baby clothes to sell. I am so ashamed of myself for the last 10 years but I can only look forward. I still have little energy, back pain, sleep issues, and the worst part is the emotional effects. Will this get better? Will I ever feel like me again? I am trying to be positive but it’s hard. Any suggestions on my kratom regimen. Like I said above I take about 8-10 caps of red Bali 2x a day. Sometimes I take 2 midday if I feel extra bad. This account is not a throwaway. This is my real account. I’m taking full responsibility and not hiding. I hid this for 10 years from friends and family. It’s out in the air to most now. Thanks everyone for listening if you read all this. Any help or suggestions would be awesome and appreciated

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