Currently dealing with quite possibly the worst pain of my entire life. Shooting/stabbing/burning/all of the above pain in my leg/lower back. Have a ruptured L5S1, and I'm trying to prolong surgery best I can. Walking helps but I can't exactly walk all damn day. Have tried other ways to ease the pain (TENs unit, heating pad, hot shower, etc) - nothing makes it bearable. Can't sit in certain positions. Hard to drive. Hard to walk. Whole right side of my body is almost 100% numb. Can't feel outer-two right-handed fingers. Can't put pressure on my foot. I'm just... really effing miserable, dude. I have never in my life had pain this bad so for those who have chronic pain and manage it well, I salute you.

The pain was so bad, landed me in the ER. Gave me injections/IV of Stadol, Decadron, Toradol, Dilaudid x2 until I was cleared to go home. Dilaudid did a little something, but not for long. I was asking for more pain meds within an hour.
Then gave scripts for Talwin NX (every 6hrs as needed, HA), Gabapentin (3x day), and Robaxin (1-2 tablets every 6hrs).
And simply put, they just **don't do shit**.
Call it high tolerance or just shitty ineffective meds, but I'm still having to push through the pain. At this point, I really wish I had something stronger but because I know how easily it would be for me to fall into routine of medicating, I choose not to. Pain pills have never worked for me, or if they did - I just don't use them as prescribed (meaning not enough). Never been one on abusing 'em but at this point I'm about as desperate as they come.

At this point, all I've really found relief in is smoking. MJ doesn't rid me of the pain, just takes my mind off it to where I can focus on something else, at least for the time being. The pain is still very prevalent. SO swears by Kratom taking the pain and the edge off (he is recovering addict), but says it won't be enough to make me loopy or like I'm floating. However, I have my reservations. My whole family has some sort of addictive tendencies so I am hesitant. Very hesitant.

What can I expect? I've done all the reading I think I can possibly do and I'm still iffy about taking them. Some strains make you feel this way, others make you feel that way. Don't know what color I'm getting (red? white?) - don't know how much I should take or what I should gauge it as? What side effects should I be looking for?

Needless to say, I hope my ignorance doesn't burn me here. Thanks for reading.

TL;DR - new to kratom, what can I expect?

submitted by /u/wubbalubbabubzy
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https://www.reddit.com/r/kratom/comments/bli1op/first_time_trying_but_am_really_hesitant/