My first kratom experience was a baggie of gelatin capsules from a head shop, and felt like such a tug-of-war between feeling no effects and having positive effects but battling horrible nausea that I gave up for a short time. I have a sensitive stomach and the day where I finished off the remaining 4.5 grams was a nightmare.
After reading up on other methods of ingestion (and clarifying some misconceptions on the relationship between dependence and tolerance symptoms) I decided to get some crushed leaf from an online vendor and try making tea. Best of both worlds -- minor nausea on Day One and then none thereafter. The taste was bitter but no more bitter than any other loose leaf green tea if you steep it for too long, and with a little peppermint I actually liked it. I've been drinking a tablespoon's worth the last few days and finding it to be a sweet spot.
I feel like kratom might be exactly what I'm looking for. It's helping me with my OCD (both the physical tics/rituals and the thought loops). It's making social interactions better and helping me to enjoy things I'm doing for fun instead of just faking it. It's taking the edge off of the anxiety symptoms I get from Adderall. The effect's pretty subtle for a stimulant. I feel like it's working better with who I am as a person, where I'm getting satisfaction or enjoyment from things I'm doing or experiencing or thinking about, and not really from effects I attribute to the kratom itself. It's pushing who I am forward instead of just propping me up like a puppet so I can get through the day.
Anyway, this isn't just some honeymoon phase, is it? I imagine many of you have been where I am; if I'm trying to use kratom for this purpose and only dosing in the morning, will I need to keep upping my dose? Or am I experiencing some initial effects due to starting and I can't expect similar results say, a month from now of regular use? I tend to take my Adderall as needed and I plan to treat kratom much the same way, so if it helps I only anticipate maybe three or four days a week, but I wouldn't mind daily if it doesn't lead to too much tolerance and the need to up my dose. I'm mainly concerned about cost and dependence. Thank you!